Boy Scout Memories

Kid you not, I'm an Eagle Scout. Still have the card in my wallet. At the Boy Scout Store they have a series of phony merit badges that may depict Scout life more accurately than Citizenship in the Nation.

Such as;


The Jackalope Hunting Merit Badge. I convinced some young scouts it was real one year. Dummies.




The Poker Merit Badge. I started learning cards at about age 14. I knew what I was doing. By 16, nobody on those campouts except my cousin Kerry had a chance to beat me. Seldom was a time when the other campers candy and beef jerky weren't in my possession by the third night.


I have since quit playing poker. I miss it...


The Fart Lighting Merit Badge. While I never participated in the scientific phenomenon, I did witness some amazing displays. Grant Richards was a like Drew Barrymore in Firestarter. I once saw Ryan Emmitt nearly burn his balls off at Hahobas Scout Camp when he attempted a blue flame and had on nylon running shorts.

Not a good combo, kids. Write that down.