Sunday, April 13, 2008
The Death of an iPod
On April 11th 2008, Johnny Wright’s iPod, a constant companion and good friend, died of natural causes. She was seven years old.
The iPod was born in the Best Buy on 23rd Street of New York City on December 15th of 2001. She led a very happy and full life. The iPod loved walks through Central Park, long drives along the West coast while on shuffle and cross country airplane rides. She also enjoyed how much more pleasant she made the subway for Johnny. The happy sounds of the Beatles seemed to decrease the smell of urine and the homeless.
After a long life, Johnny’s iPod began to show complications in recent months. She began skipping songs on carefully designed play-lists, and her battery was running shorter and shorter. The morning of the 11th, all 6,237 songs stored in her body disappeared without a trace. They have yet to be found. Shortly thereafter, Johnny’s iPod was unresponsive and refused to turn on. Efforts to resuscitate were unsuccessful. Then, in her sleep, she peacefully gave up the ghost. “It was sad,” Wright said, obviously still in mourning, “but at least she wasn’t in any pain.”
Shortly before her death, Johnny’s iPod had begun to write her memoirs. In the opening chapter, the iPod stated that the key to her longevity was “the loving care of my owner and the soulful and amazing music that I stored.”
“She was a good friend. And she loved music,” Wright said. “I miss her every day.” The iPod did indeed have a great love of music, spanning many genres. Especially British rock, 40’s blues, Bob Dylan, singer-songwriters, Johnny Cash, 70’s punk, rockabilly, Pearl Jam, The White Stripes, 60’s folk and so on and so forth. The iPod also enjoyed taxidermy, wind surfing and bocce.
A brief service will be held on Monday April 14th, and then the iPod will be interred in a shoebox underneath Johnny’s bed. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in the iPod’s name to Johnny’s iTunes account.
Johnny’s iPod is survived by a seven year old pair of earbud headphones.
Johnny Wright’s iPod
December 15th 2001 – April 11th 2008